The Unfortunate Events of Doing Absolutely Nothing

You all know the feeling. You come home from school or work and you are longing for that empty nothingness in your life, where you just switch off your brain and watch 2 seasons of spongebob while stuffing your face with instant noodles (oh yeah and don't forget to instagram it).

Well, I CAN'T STAND that feeling. I despise it. Give me something to do. Anything. Seriously. That's why I'm writing a blog post right now. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO. My dad believes that these states are healthy for me, because it's one of those life lessons that teach me not sit on my butt my whole life.

He's right. He's so right omg. I hate it when he's right. 

Also, it's really funny how you go completely nuts. For example, I decided to make pancakes because I felt like I was doing a favour for society (only my family tbh) and they came out really ugly, so I spent a whole 15 minutes googling why my pancakes were ugly and techniques on how to make them prettier. DID I NEED TO KNOW THAT? WILL IT FULFILL ANY OF MY FUTURE GOALS? WILL IT GET ME MONEY?

Nope. I just made myself believe I was being useful.

My parents probably think this is a great technique to make me "independent", to "find my own path" and to "discover myself"....wait. No. That came out wrong.

That makes me even more frustrated, because I am not living up to their expectations. I mean, I ate 3 bowls of cornflakes for dinner today...

I should get a life...and like a life goal.

Although I did manage to finally get a driver's license after a year of trying....*sigh*

BUT AT THE SAME TIME I'M REALLY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE ANd it's just so weird like you don't even know. 

#confusion

How to be single.

Today I pulled a nerve in my tongue by licking peanut butter off of a small teaspoon. So this is what single life feels like...

For the record, my tongue still hurts and I still have no idea what I am doing with my life.

BUT my sister clearly does, as she once again proved herself as a special snowflake:

I mean come on, is there a better picture for "no fucks given" or "free spirit" ?. Besides JB?

Also, I wanted to take a picture of this girl being amazing at gymnastics and reminding me how much of a wooden stick I am, but instead I think I invented a new way of planking:

OOPS.

Well, if you were expecting a great blog post about how to be single, I am sorry, but I have no fucking idea how. 

Hopefully I will.

Until the, stay sassy.

Educational quote to end with:


"Don't sprain your tongue nerves while giving BJs...or eating crunchy PB." - Me 

POPIČI!!

I come from a family of folk dancers and every single year either during the winter or summer we have huge ass family/neighbourhood garden parties. Throughout the years, people have invested into making them better with a smoke machine, disco lights, bigger speakers, etc.

This time we were celebrating a neighbour's 40th birthday. Note: All our neighbours are pretty much people I have known my whole life and/or people that we became friends with over the past 4 years living here. 

The location was about a 3 minute walk from my house, and a 30 second fence climb. And because I'm a lazy ass, I decided to climb the fence, but got stuck and walking the distance became the faster and more practical option. #classicAdel.

Anyways, I joined the party waaay later than it started. All the kids were there, the parents, the dogs, disco lights, loud music, food, drinks, basically everything you could imagine. As it was getting darker, the weather got better and the music became louder. It turned into one of those classic family parties. In my family, if you can't dance, you are most likely going to be disowned sooner or later. And honestly, I have no regrets to being raised this way, because dancing and music are things that make people purely happy. No artificial happiness, just pure endorphins.

Aaaand this brings me to my point: it is always important to let loose in some way. For me, it's dancing for 3 hours with 40 year old people as you can tell. If your letting loose is based on reading a book or playing a videogame, do it. But the simplicity in playing music and having people dance, and the way it makes people happy is just incredible.

The reason to why I'm being so overly dramatic about this, is because I've had a shitty few days and yesterday it just *POOF* .

Go get your groove on bitches.

Anthem of the night:

Educational quote to end with:

"POPIČI PESNIČKA!!!/BEST FUCKING SONG!!!" - my neighbour after hearing the song above the third time in a row.

Summer Perception

UPDATE:

CINNABON IS OVERRATED (recipe)

WOOOHOOO I have reached 1000 views!!  And no, I did not constantly refresh my blog I promise you.

In order to celebrate this wonderful event I made you some cinnamon rolls!!!:

JK I made them for my sister's sleepover, but honestly I'd bake this for anyone it's super easy.
I haven't actually tasted them though, but my mum did and said they were delicious so....if anyone gets food poisoning blame my mum.

Recipe

Dough: All you need for the dough is to go into the local supermarket and buy ready-made "puff pastry" (listkove cesto in Slovak). Roll that shit out, but don't make it too thin. I didn't even bother to use a rolling pin, so just go ahead and be a lazy fag.

Filling: 

• Butter to butter yo shit (softened (but not melted), so that you can easily spread it onto the pastry)
• Cinnamon
• Brown sugar

For the filling you take your butter and spread it alllll ovveeeerrr the pastry, just like you would on your bread. Then, you take your brown sugar and cinnamon mixed together (again, I was a lazy ass and just bought and used packets of cinnamon sugar) and you sprinkle a layer of it onto the butter. Spread it evenly, because that is when regrets happen. You don't want an uneven amount of filling in your roll.

THEN 

Take your pastry full of the good shit and roll it up like a j. Then proceed to cut it into small snail shells. Not too small about 1.5cm in thickness (if you don't understand metric units, I don't understand you). Place them onto your tray, which either has cooking spray/baking paper/butter on it. I sprinkled some extra cinnamon sugar on them and drizzled them with melted butter before I baked them, but that is not necessary (although HIGHLY recommended).

Put your tray into the oven for 20 minutes at 175 degrees Celsius. 

....in the meantime....

Frosting: 

• Cream cheese 60g
• Butter 60g
• tsp. vanilla extract
• tsp. the water part of a real lemon (lemon juice???)
• powdered sugar 160g

Miiiix it allll togetheeeer 

Preferably with a mixer thing that you plug in. Then when it's mixed, put it in the microwave for about 30 seconds, so that it has the look and the texture of explicit white content that comes out of the D #punintended. 

After you have taken out your cinnamon rolls from the oven, drizzle the frosting over it and there you got it. GG. So proud. *wipes tears*

Now you can have Cinnabon and diabetes anytime you want!!!!! ENJOY!

Also, thank you for reading my blog. I hope that the posts that do make sense help you or inspire you in some way (???). Not to mention, I hope my embarassing stories make you feel better about yourself. But don't use Internet Explorer. You are much better than that. You deserve much better than that.

<3


Educational quote to end with:


"Don't watch porn kids!!!!!!!!!" - unless it's foodporn

P.H.Deep #7 Graduation (harsh version)

Dearest high school graduators; I envy you.

This is the most wonderfully naive, yet balanced and stable part of your life. You are most likely to have an enthusiastic and chilled summer with new experiences and a humongous amount of endorphins produced in your brain.

Although right now you are all super stressed and worried about your exams, they are also currently the biggest challenge you are facing in your lifetime. As you have no idea what awaits you in your next academic year, you feel like you're on top of the world once you graduate from high school. It's all about the relativity man #supahwise.

So, if you are graduating from high school this year, OWN IT. This is literally the least problematic part of your life. If you decide to go to university, you will have exams, but that is different (although I have no idea, I have proof from my ex-classmates). And although you have told yourself, that you don't ever want to see the people in your class ever again countless times; you grew up with these people (unless you've been in an international school. My condolences to all your best friends that have moved to different countries).

At some point in life, you will be nostalgic about your high school life and classmates....because it just goes uplevel from here.

It will go uplevel even if you stay home for a gap year like me. The adulthood will hit you hard in the face and the problems you have considered to be "problems" until now will become part of your daily routine.

I know, I know...you might be asking: Why is this bitch making me feel so miserable about the life?   or   Life is awesome, why should I worry about life ahead of me?...........if you are asking these questions.....THEN YOU'RE A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE SO STOP ASKING THESE QUESTIONS

GODDAMNIT one day you will understand

sidenote: I'm not 60 years old, I actually graduated last year.

I know it all sounds weird, coming from someone who graduated just last year, but these are my thoughts on it.

I hope you have a wonderful time, and if you're a highschool graduate I hope you fucking swim in unicorn shit.

That's all I've got to say.

OTHER THAN THAT, I hope you like my pimped up blog. The reason for it is that there is none and it comes with the message that says you're diving deep into my bullshit...although you don't dive into space but, you get it.



Educational quote to end with:

"The strongest bonds in high school always form in a boring subject with a really bad teacher" - true story #HLchemistry #didnttakeit #ijustheard

HAPPY

MY VILLAGE MADE A COVER FOR HAPPY BY PHARRELL WILLIAMS WATCH IT

guess which idiot is on the thumbnail...